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If you’ve been scrolling through social media lately, you’re probably familiar with the following photo: A father, deep asleep, with his baby dozing on his chest.
When we see these kinds of posts, it’s easy to coo over how adorable these pictures are.
In fact, these fathers are often hailed as “super dads” for letting mum have a break while clearly exhausted themselves.
But when you really think about it, the problem becomes clear: Falling asleep with a baby on you is not a good idea
Unintentionally drifting off with a baby is known as “accidental co-sleeping” or “reactive co-sleeping,” says midwife Amanda Bude from Groovy Babies.
And the issue doesn’t just relate to dads, but also sleep-deprived mums and carers.
It makes for a beautiful photo, but healthcare professionals are cautioning against falling asleep with a baby on your chest.
“We seem to swoon at the bare-chested dad with the gorgeous newborn asleep on the chest like David Beckham, Robbie Williams,” midwife Amanda Bude from Groovy Babies tells Essential Baby.
To read the article click here:
Part of beginning my work with families is to work out the reasons why they may want to hire me.
Being exhausted, all though is often why I am contacted is truly a good action step forward it is not always the number 1 reason why.
Before I begin ANY sleep work I find out the main goals and to reassure them that their child is “not broken” and that any sleep issue can ultimately “be fixed”.
- You are unhappy with your child’s sleep habits.
No matter how many people you talk to, if you are happy with how your child sleeps, day and night then you AINT got a problem. Reasons being unless you think there is a problem, you won’t be able to stay consistent with any plan a sleep consultant sets up for you!
2. You have “tried everything”.
Many parent’s tackle sleep training on their own or implement “wait it out method” (insert 2-4 years of sleep deprivation). My take? If NOTHING has worked- time to enlist a individualized sleep plan. It is time to “do” not “try”.
3. You and your partner keep arguing over the approach you implement.
Its time to stop the good cop bad cop method. It frustrates your child as well as each other. It is really annoying to start the good cop (dad) at bedtime, then at 3am turn into bad cop (mum). I create a sleep plan that both parent’s feel comfortable with, and lead you step by step forward.
4. Your pediatrician suggests you should get help OR try Cry It Out.
Most parent’s don’t realize that their Pediatrician, GP or Child Health Nurse are actually NOT trained child sleep specialists. Yes they are trained specialists BUT not in sleep. Often their training is less than 6 hours in their entire degree! I have worked with ALL of these specialists and they have no idea on healthy sleep habits, foundations, and the myriad of underlying influences on sleep stealers! And they come to me because they don’t want to do the behavioral method Cry It Out. #walkthewalk
5. You are starting to resent your baby or your current sleep situation- the volcano approach.
Yup in the first 12 months after birth we lose up to 950 hrs of sleep ( 44 days in total). Some of us cope well, others of us don’t. Nothing can prepare us for the amount of time our child requires from us. Our mental health is paramount for health and happiness. Many families are scared to contact me, fearful of spending money in case “it doesn’t work”. Well it won’t if you are fearful, just leave the volcano simmering and smoking… it will if you are ready to take action before you erupt, when those teeny tiny feelings of resentment start to crop up.
Child sleep can be complicated and confusing to parents. The longer I work as a Holistic Sleep Specialist I find so much more to consider. An individualized assessment and plan for your family is the best approach to short term and long term success.
Midwife Amanda Bude from Groovy Babies says it can be very hard for couples to keep their baby’s gender a secret.
She says this is especially true when people don’t want to refer to their baby as “it”.
Couples then oscillate between calling the baby “he” or “she” – and hope not to get ‘caught out’ by saying one gender too often.
As a midwife, Amanda says it can also be tricky to keep the gender a secret from patients who don’t want to know what they’re having.
She remembers doing an ultrasound on another midwife once, and accidentally saying, “Oh look, there he is.”
She said, “It was the biggest ‘oops’ ever!”
Read more: http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/pregnancy/news-views/when-someone-accidentally-reveals-the-gender-of-your-baby-20161104-gsiej4?&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=social&eid=socialn%3Afac-14omn0583-optim-nnn%3Apaid-25%2F06%2F2014-social_traffic-all-postprom-nnn-ebaby-o&campaign_code=nocode&promote_channel=social_facebook#ixzz4Pf2FUvWP
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How Daylight Savings Impacts on Your Child’s Sleep Routine.
Expert Interview: Click to watch here:
Grab a pen and write them down 🙂 Excuse my fluffy puppies at the end! #reallife
Wrapping is a useful tool for settling and keeping babies safe when sleeping in the first 5-6 months of life. Wrapping also reduces crying time and promotes sleep by lessening the frequency of spontaneous arousals or the moro reflex or startle reflex. This normally disappears by the time a bub is 4-5 months of age, but I have seen it occur longer especially in the case of premature babies or multiples.
So when is the right time to wean from wrapping? SIDS recommends when your baby is rolling from their back to their tummy and their back again during supervised play. This is when being wrapped can prevent a baby from rolling from their tummy during sleep, back onto their back again.
So if this is happening in your household now is the time!
Transitioning from swaddle to sleeping bag for some babies can require up to a week of lots of support, patience and reassurance to help your baby get through this new phase and learn how to fall asleep without his or her arms being restrained. I always recommend introduction of a comforter of some type before transitioning and even a few days of practice rolling in the new sleeping bag, not at sleep time, so the baby can begin to experiment with their new found freedom.
Begin the transition by swaddling with one arm in and one arm out for three days and then both arms out for three days. Swaddling with one arm out allows the baby to use one arm to lift his face and head from the mattress if he does roll. Often I suggest with transition during the bedtime sleep to begin with, as often once the baby has night sleeps sorted then to begin with the day sleeps. Prevention of over tiredness being the key.
It is absolutely fine to adopt a “what ever needs” approach to settle for a few days such as patting, stroking or rocking your baby’s body back and forward with your hand (in the cot) for a few days to help him adjust to the lack of swaddling.
Aim to be to reduce the touch and wean off this assistance, once your baby begins to settle easier, so that these do not become new assisted sleep associations. It is best to use methods of settling in the cot rather than picking up and swinging and rocking to sleep as it is usually easier to gradually withdraw and wean off from in-cot settling methods.
Now there are of course many types of swaddle transition sleep products. They can include swaddles with pop ups, that you undo at the arms, like the Ergo, then there are the zip off arms like the LTD 50/50,
OR then can have the all in one sleep sacks like the Zippadee Zip Sleep Sack.
OR you could try the Sleepy Wings!
So no matter what product you choose to implement be mindful of the tog/ temperature of the product and plenty of time with your bubba rolling to practice his or her new found skill!
Of all my clients I go visit, not many have planned from the out set on bed sharing. Many do plan on co-sleeping as that is what is recommended as a WHO and SIDS initiative in the first 6 months of life.
Research shows many benefits for babies who bed-share safely with their parents, including improved breastfeeding duration rates, improved settling with reduced crying, more infant arousals which are protective for baby, and improved maternal sleep. 80% of Australian families co-sleep or bed share in the first 6 months of life.
Accidental co-sleeping though is dangerous. It’s not planned bed sharing, its bring my baby into bed for some much needed sleep (understandably)in a bed environment not set up for bed sharing, or fall asleep on the sofa cuddles. This is unplanned bed sharing.
My clients all ready feel guilty, and sleep deprived and anxious, and desperate, and alone, very much alone. Fear of being judged, fear of rolling onto their baby, fear they are going to create long term bad sleep habits.
I help them take action and eliminate these fears, and re align the goals they want for the future.
So what is the answer? If you find that the only way your bub settles is with you (naturally), then educate yourself on safe co-sleeping and bed sharing guidelines. Read Dr James McKenna’s information on safe be sharing and co-sleeping here. http://cosleeping.nd.edu/
Groovy Babies founder Amanda Bude is one of Australia’s most highly qualified baby & child specialist specialising in baby & child sleep, HypnoBirthing® The Mongan Method, infant massage, attachment parenting and a range of holistic parenting strategies.
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- “Birthing Experience Impacts Settling and Sleep in Babies”- Courier Mail 10th October 2019.October 10, 2019 - 11:20 am
- [ARTICLE] “How To Settle Your Baby To Sleep In Their Cot”- The Parenting Company Collaboration.May 30, 2019 - 4:56 pm
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